All paths have the same destination

If I was asked to paint the colors of my life as I've experienced...I would paint it with bright and happy colors but not just those. There would also be the darker, ominous ones...the stark ones that stick out like a sore thumb...the black hole. And it would be perfect that way. It's in the chaos that I found myself...it's in the light that I appreciate existence. But I cannot deeply appreciate life without knowing myself.
Just a few years ago, I was so much more naive than I am now...I am a lot more cautious now but it's my thirst for life which keeps me open to new experiences.
My higher power has done a good damn job of transforming this heart of mine!
When I think of those who came into my life...take Kirene for example...he was a guardian heart but he was also the temptation which opened the door to my 2011 obliteration and ultimate enlightenment. He was gentle, light...always giving me hope.
Now, take Tristan, he was devils advocate...a destructive force in my life. I danced with the devil when I was with him...he also led to another obliteration of self and AGAIN ultimate enlightenment. Truth is, it never TRULY mattered who it was and how much they did or did not love me...they led me to the same path. Because it was always about a relationship that I have with myself, God and how I relate to the rest of the world.
It felt like they were opposites...standing for something completely different but truth is...it didn't make a difference. What they led me to was exactly the same destination...
This is our life...this is my life and it's my chance to perceive the messages that are constantly being giving to me. Will I listen? Will I learn? Those are some of my good questions.

Gratitude Power

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I'm a recovering addict. With this process of recovery comes the obtaining of different skills and tools to deal with life on life's terms. One of those spiritual tools is - gratitude. In the very beginning of my recovery my sponsor, at the time, told me to write a gratitude list every day. It was important for me to begin to see where my life was going well...the gifts in my life. It's honestly something that I can easily forget to do in the hustle and bustle of life. But it's quite important to me to remember where I once was and where I am now. Thinking on that for a minute truly brings a good does of gratitude to my heart.
I was in such a dark and hopeless place only a few years ago. I really felt lost and ashamed of myself. It's amazing how far I've come today...from a place of hopelessness to a place of confident joyousness and freedom [mostly from self]. My higher power has brought me through the storm of my own creation with grace and compassion. This relationship that I am building with my Higher Power is irreplaceable. It gives me a sense of purpose that I was sadly losing through the years. Without my Higher Power, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have let go of some of the really awful things I was holding onto with an iron grip. The more I make a practice of meditating on what I have to be grateful for...the more I am able to see all that I actually have to be grateful for. I don't miss out on seeing the beautiful gifts that Source is sharing with me because I'm too busy sulking in the corner.  

Orbiting Truth

When I first created this blog I named it "Chasing True". That title really spoke of where my mindset was at...I was chasing after something I wanted to attain. I feel like I'm in a very different place now. Being true to myself and to the Highest Best is still my goal on a daily basis but now I see it much more like an orbit around Trueness and Truth rather than a chase. Being True isn't running from me - I am the one always navigating away from it. So, just like I re-center my thoughts during meditation whenever they drift, I re-center my focus/energy back to Being True whenever I lose track of it...I orbit back towards it. I know that I will drift away, but if I lock onto it's atmosphere by taking action daily...I will continue my orbit and not drift aimlessly into endless distractions in space.