Trust

Trust is reciprocal...I cannot be vulnerable easily if I don't trust nor should I. Our scared jewels should be shared with care but they do need a place to flourish. I believe this is where my higher power comes in because I cannot force someone to be trustworthy or make someone appear whom I trust. But if I step out in faith, more and more I will see my higher power has my back. I am seeing that more with every passing day.
If I have built up really high walls, I cannot just expect myself to break them down for someone who hasn't cultivated trust with me. If my trust is shaken, it's going to be very hard for me to be vulnerable with that person.
It's like taking out your beating heart to a snarling wolf...every ounce of common sense would tell you to gaurd your heart and run on the other direction...not to offer it up to an angry, hungry beast.
Always blaming yourself while someone else is tearing you to shreds is also a big character defect. I don't have to take responsibility for someone else's pitfalls.