My dearest friend and sister from another mister just recently received her heart transplant. It's been an upcoming event for 2 years now. Every day of both of those years, she could receive the call that her heart was in.
During those two years, we fell in love as best friends. Despite our differences, we knew our souls to be twins.
My heart broke as she told me her story ,how often when those we trust the most are not there when we need them the most.
She had, had a heart attack and died only to come back and share her breathtaking story of life after death. Her family pulled away and those friends she'd always known became scarce.
I knew what this was like. In 2011, I went through a spiritual transformation. For two months I lost everything I'd ever known for something new...in a way, i went through my own death. The one's I thought would always be there seemed to vanish into thin air. When they looked me in the eyes, It's how I imagined they looked at a stranger.
Cherie and I have spent many hours talking about all of this. I understood why they weren't there. I really did become a stranger to them ~ it was scary that one of the strongest girls they've ever known could become a shadow...I understand why Cherie Almost being gone for good would scare anyone shitless. I understand why people don't come to visit my aunt at the nursing home; she's nothing like they remember her and it's sad to see her there...in such a dreary place. But then i go to see my aunt...i look into thise eyes and i see her whole self light up. I imagine that i am a ray light breaking through her window blinds.
I remember how it felt when my closest friends turned away...i couldn't reach out to them. Id forgotten how.
Cherie, the strong one. Surely she can handle it. She's remaining so positive. But can any of us really imagine living in constant chronic pain? Or every moment waiting to get the call for a major surgery? How did i make it? How does my aunt deal? How did Cherie?
Sometimes we don't deal. Sonetimes we break down. The fear gets the best of us just like it does everyone else. The difference is we couldn't walk away if we wanted to. And in those moments of impending fear, the one thing that make all the difference in the world is those who reach out their hand into our darkness and offer their support. To everyone who has reached out, to me, to Cherie, to my aunt and to the countless others who find themsrlves in life-changing challengs...know the difference you make is to save a life. That hand in the darkness can be the bit of hope that we needed to keep going.
To those who were afraid, i understand. I was afraid, as well. But i urge to turn back around and know that you have never been more needed than now.
It's my dream to create an organization that supports those going through these kind of challenges. Often times, many are left alone. You really don't find that out until you experience it. I want there to be a safe place for people to share their experiences. And if their voice is heard, they may help others see how helpful their support can be. You don't have to know what to say ~ sometimrs all someone needs is someone to show they care and that they are there with them.
Afterall, we're all in this together.
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