Light

The depression is lifting from me. My soul is beginning to see the light of dawn again peeking over the horizon. I'm regaining my strength. My energy is returning to me...
I  stopped identifying myself as the old Elizabeth on a deep level after 2011 - I had rewritten my story for myself. I even changed my name to Ellie...bringing in a new, fresh energy. But! The old Elizabeth wasn't GONE...she just wasn't my source of identity anymore...I used the Elizabeth who was a child, pure and innocent to birth the new me. I accessed all the parts of myself which I believed to be the very best parts of me and I created an identity from that. I turned my sails away from the destination I was headed in...which was a rather dark and destructive one.
But what I was unaware of was what would happen when I sailed through the storm which was surrounding me from my former choices and beliefs...I still HAD to face what I had created for myself before 2011. Part of that was coming to terms with my addictions + issues with boundaries. I am still recovering from that but the source of me is different. I have not lost hope...and that light which I found in 2011 still burns in my heart. As I continue sailing forward on my new path...I understand there will be challenges a long the way...even as the newer, fresher me.

When I am able to be truly connected to the light within me I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.