Parker

So many things have brought my thoughts back to Parker. It's strange really, considering we weren't that close right before she had passed.
Somehow, I feel like I see her heart. I look/ed up to her. She was brilliant, beautiful and brave. I thought she was really cool and someone unique. I knew that she was a gift to the world. I see her in other people - I see her in myself.
Sometimes, my life starts to get hard and I feel really overwhelmed. Sometimes the pain really weighs heavy on me and I wonder what could possibly be worth all this? Sometimes, in those moments - Parker's face will pop into my mind. She's always smiling and it's like she lights up the whole room with that smile. That's when I remember how much she loved life and how her life has inspired my own.
It reminds me that while things can always be worse, this life is a gift. She shows me that. I am thankful for that. Somehow, it's like she's saying to me, "I understand what you're going through but I promise you that it's worth it. You are beautiful and I don't want you to doubt that about yourself or your life."
I felt similar to Parker - I felt a kindred spirit in her. I can't explain it any more than that and it hurt me so much when she was on the other side. Because there were so many times I felt like I wouldn't make it - somehow it felt like this was supposed to happen to me and this is what it would've been like.
But I cared for her and I assured her there was a place where love would never leave her side and that she was not alone. In return - she reassured me the same thing and continues to do so. She is a light in my heart. Parker is an angel.
"It's not the end yet and when the end comes it won't be what you expect. Yes, there's pain and there is some uncomfortable experiences but just like in life - love is what stands."