Pokemon Hunting

7/18/16

On Tuesday I'll be 30 days clean and sober. It's been a long time coming for me. 6 years ago I created this blog. I have on a journey with my higher power since that year. It was the year my entire life changed. Now, I am here on my path. I continue taking things one day at a time.

Today;
I drove around hunting pokemon with my brother. I haven't seen my brother in months so it was really nice to get to spend some quality time with him. We when to the Birmingham Museum of Art, as well. I am grateful that the Pokémon servers were down at that point because I really paid attention to the artwork. The dates kept standing out to me...knowing that there is so much history to each piece. It took me back in time and made me wonder what stories were buried in every piece of art as old as those. It was a very envigorating experience. It also made my heart happy that my brother was having a great time! He rarely gets out so having a chance to see the city awakened his senses and lit a flame.
We went to Aldridge gardens afterwards to continue playing Pokémon and I appreciated the fact that so many people were playing on this gorgeous day in this gorgeous park. I felt happy, truly content.
The meeting this evening was pretty good. For me, it was a reminder that faith is dead without works. That I can't 2 step. It was a reminder that I am not useful to others by trying to save them from themselves. It's my job to keep my side of the street clean. I enjoyed being invited to the meeting by Stormy and Jenn. But it sure did make me nervous being I that neighborhood.
Tonight, I spoke with some women in the program and I heard just what I needed to hear. Not only that but I had a very humorous and fun convo with a newer girl.
Then, when I checked Facebook I saw that Kerli is 90 days clean and sober. I about dropped my phone! She has been one of my lifelong inspirations + channel through which my higher power speaks to me with. She helped me through the dark period I am just now getting out of. Her new songs gave me hope...made me want to change. They also were used as a sign to reconnect with my higher power. Now, I find out she stopped only 2 months before me...this moment was basically my burning bush moment that people have mentioned in the meetings.
I spoke to both of my parents for the rest of the night. The conversations were more vulnerable and real than I'm used to. We went over many important topics. Then I chose to cancel plans with my girlfriend in the program. I was very hesitant and worried she'd think I was just blowing her off but truly I felt this is what I needed to make it through the next week. I knew that it's still too early in sobriety for me to push myself too hard. And right now I feel completely overwhelmed and at my limits. I'm grateful I did speak up though and simply be honest with her. She's absolutely amazing and I can't wait to hang out with her soon.
Today, I listed many things I'm grateful for...I'm not sure where I could do better besides giving clearer plans sooner to my friend in AA. Maybe being more present since I was so bothered by the Pokémon server being down at the muesum. Take in the moment...try not to give advice to newcomers yet. Spend some more time in the big book and setting up a better schedule. Maybe planning ahead in the morning who I am going to call...when I'm going to call.