Rise to Womanhood

Within each and everyone of us is magic. It's something we feel and know as a child but usually forget the older we get. We don't find the magic in the world...we forget it's within us. But this magic does live and breathe. First we have to wake up. Once we wake up again we're usually still children. In my case, I was the princess who'd been sleeping for years but once I'd awoken I was still this Princess. It's easy to want to hide once I saw what I was up against...So much had changed once I'd woken back up. Life wasn't seen from the eyes of a child, anymore. I had more experiences and more of an overall whisper, "It's dangerous here." I'd become a monstrously strong protector in the process. Adapting with masculine energy and using very little feminine. All the while desperately hiding the child...the princess within me. I couldn't explain it besides that I needed to be ready before throwing my precious heart to the wolves. So, yes, I built a wall around my heart. The problem with that is that I cut my heart off from God. Suddenly, the lights were out and I couldn't see anymore. I was alone with no way of knowing what was happening. Soon I forgot God...I forgot love...I forgot myself. I was this mask...I was this "man in the mirror." I'd become completely unbalanced and I didn't know what to do. Then the princess woke back up and there was light. I saw myself for what I was and it scared the shit out of me. Until I saw it through the eyes of my innocence and realized all it was, was the pain and the fear I'd experienced while the child in me slept.
I remember for so long that I've guarded this princess in fear that this was only a "childlike" aspect of myself. But I've seen that this part of me can be the most mature and the most genuine...unafraid and understanding. There is innocence but there is not ignorance. This is the light within me, it see's all that hides in darkness because light unveils all. It's a loving, forgiving, nurturing gaze.
In this, I've realized now that I've been waiting for the princess within me to rise to be queen. Because she is the only one who can. She is ready and I know the Goddess within us all is ready. Because just like me, the world desperately needs love, nurturing and healing. We are all equal and yet this is not believed. I am ready to stand true to who I truly am and be the Woman that I know I am.
"I found god in myself. And I loved her. I loved her fiercely." -Ntozake Shange
-Elizabeth