Wings

It's difficult to grow up...speaking strictly for myself and not the cliche...though I can agree with the age old tale of struggling to grow up. Transitioning from a human being who has much more responsibility on their shoulders and a lot more freedom. Truth is, I haven't quite flown far from the nest yet...is it fear of the unknown? I think it's more how badly I got hurt when I first took that leap to live on my own. Did I grow? Oh yes...I'm stronger now than ever before and I am hooked up with a program that really works when I apply myself. It's my new umbrella of protection...no matter what happens.
I wanted to write about my difficulties of transitioning into adulthood and the struggles I've had with resentments and feelings of things being unfair...but it's the opportunities I'm missing out on that bother me the most.
I haven't opened my wings yet...I'm terrified of where they will take me...I'm free now to be my own person, build my own world...Express something my own special signature into the universe. I'm scared to take the train. It's not that I'm wasting time...I'm not wasting time. I have a job, a great love, friends & family and I am following my passion of art...I have a spiritual community...a connection with art. Yet, I am too comfortable and being comfortable is never synonymous with growth.
Not that comfortable is bad...when was the last time I've had stability in my life? My mind is healthier than it's been for half of my life. That's a fucking miracle but it's taken a lot of hard work and support from friends and family. I didn't get there over night.
Still, I feel my wings are closed. I have so much to say...SO much to experience and share with this universe...but I hold back. It's not time yet, I say to me. Soon.
But I grow impatient...don't let life pass me by...I also say to myself.
Get out of THAT particular comfort zone...being seen by the world for who I truly am. All my vibrant, loud colors. Even the darker ones that might scare some people away...that's okay. I will never be everyone's cup of tea.