Self-love, what is it??

Self-love is a topic that keeps coming up here lately. That those whom we choose to keep close to us, reflect how much we love ourselves.
Love has become a strange word to me...full of many different conatations.
Is it self love to be in a relationship with someone who is extremely moody & can lash out at you for no reason?
Am I keep the wrong people close?
I've been trying to love myself better. It hasn't always been an easy process. I've definitely made a lot of mistakes a long the way.
I had promised myself more comfort, more love after 2011. It hurt me how I failed myself. But truthfully, I relate so much to the women in my life because they've suffered a similar plight of trying so hard to love themselves and falling short...especially in regard to men.
In some ways I was safe from all that for a long time with Kirene. But in other ways I was just alone but didn't believe I was alone. Maybe in some ways that belief made me less alone...it helped me a lot at the time.
I've felt loneliness and pent up anger a lot in my lifetime...I've bit back words and defensiveness or gone on the other extreme and lashed out. It never worked out too well.