Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Deja Vu

So this is just something I had to write down. Okay, I've experienced deja vu before but tonight something happened that there truly is no explanation for. I could SWEAR that, that exact moment had happened before that the second it started happening I was saying everything that was going to happen in my head before it did.
I reasoned with myself that it was possible that it actually DID happen before and I was remembering something from before. The weird thing is, I felt like I could also remember that when it happened last time, I also had deja vu that time as well. As though it had happened many times before.
I've been getting stronger deja vu experiences, lately, actually. Used to I didn't have the feeling that I'd actually said out loud in my mind, "This has happened before." But now when I get it I clearly remember having said that before in my mind. But the weirdest things is it's not just similar scenarios but similar thought patterns followed by identical events.
The thing about tonight though was that I didn't remember having the same reaction as I did 'last time'. Saying in my mind what was going to happen before it did left me feeling bewildered and almost frightened. I know I didn't feel that last time.
This is what happened[and deja vu is rarely important events for me] - I am making this guys sandwich and Stephanie, my manager is already on the register. I hadn't clocked in yet because she was on the register. The man asks for a certain sauce and that's when it clicks in. The first thing I felt was, ah, here I am again and here's that feeling of dejavu AGAIN. Then I look to Stephanie knowing she is about to ask me if I had already clocked in. I tell her no, like I did last time. So then I know she is going to ask for my password. Last time I didn't quite expect it but this time I knew she was going to ask for it. So I tell her and she clocks me in. The deja vu disappears after that. I acted the same way as 'before' but I did not mentally react the same way.
Is it possible I just forgot an extremely similar scenario? Yes. Especially since I actually reacted different. BUT I only acted differently because I was so aware of what was going to happen. Before, I was just aware that I was feeling deja vu to what the man was saying. I don't know. It could just be my brain.
Though, I remember once getting deja vu from something that was written down by my friend and I know for a fact I had NEVER seen it before. Yet I was certain I had. I can't help but wonder what all of that is about.

-Liz

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