Searching

It's been a while since I last posted in here. I guess that's because I've been more busy and also every time I think to do it, I never feel I'll be able to put everything I want to into words. I have so much that I discover on a daily basis and I don't feel like writing down every moment of my life, you know? I kinda' wish I could've captured some of the more important stuff though.
Working at the American Village has been helpful and I'm happy to have some space from my own thoughts. I think and think and think. So I've been unable to write anything tonight. I sat down to write some poetry and as I was doing I became paranoid and gave it up. Plus, I wasn't feeling it as much as I wanted to. It's feels as though there is so much I have to say but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe it's something I can't explain in words.
I've had a good day, actually but right now I don't want to be writing this at all. My mood has plummeted a bit, I guess my thoughts went somewhere negative. Either way, I'm going to do it. Trying to feel what to write.
I'm thinking about joining a larping game and so that's has me excited.
Sometimes I feel very in touch with myself and those are the times I really wish I could write in here but I am not in one of those places at this current moment. Which kinda' bums me out.
I'm happy it's a full moon tonight
I want to do something for it but I'm not really sure what to do. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had like a translator to my brain that way I could explain where I am at better.
Not sure what it is but I'm feeling a bit guilty and disgruntled. Other than that, I've been having some really insightful teachings lately such as being brave through the storm.
I hope I really can achieve something more with my efforts. I guess that's why I'm still trying to write something in here.
I don't really mean to sound so unenthusiastic with my own blog or even my own progress. But I also don't want to fact where I am at right now and right now I'm just feeling uneasy. I'm still kinda' trying to figure out why. I don't like when I have so many thoughts in my mind I don't even remember what has set me off balance.
I may post more later~