Elevate

So, I sit down again tonight to type. I was going to post a video instead of typing because I'm feeling a little tired and I want more practice speaking rather than writing. I guess writing has won me over, again. xP
I am going to write about how I am feeling partially since Charis asked us to do that for the course I am taking and also because I want to write about it.
Charis said a lot of our intuitive selves are emotional and I have found this to be true. So that's a big reason why she wanted us to look at our emotions.
My emotions are uncomfortable right now. I can't tell if it's my emotions making me chest tighter and painful or if it's my tight and painful chest that is stressing me out. I was fine but then a bump came up with the travel plans to mount shasta and now I am stressed as I wait for the email I supposed to receive. I am reminding myself that it all works out in divine order but it's hard to really settle on that. I feel bad for stressing my dad out and making it complicated but that may be a little codependent of me. I am not the only one involved in the variable so it's bound to get a little complicated. I don't think it's just the trip - I had already been feeling strange today.
But I got close to a panic attack tonight. I really have no idea why or what's come over me. But I just feel a lot of anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety before so this isn't new to me. Especially in situations with job related stuff or anything that has to do with making plans and involving other people or money or "business" type stuff can stress me out. The "serious adult stuff" can stress me out. Haha! I think what causes me anxiety is my lack of confidence. But that's only there because I'm still young and this stuff is new to me.
I am going to go to bed soon, though. There is no reasoning it out. I can tell when I will listen to reason and when I'm just going to be anxious no matter what. This is one of those times. I like that I am a determined type person but the stubbornness can be a double edged sword.
I feel excitement and anxiety. I feel like I'm close to more empowerment and that I'm really being an idiot right now. :D Probably because I need to go to bed. But I don't want to go to bed, yet. So that's why I am sitting here typing, right now.
Inferior and superior. Hmmm, I'm meditating on that. I'm meditating on my own feelings about myself and how I see myself.
I think it may really be time for me to go to bed. The little intuitive voice seems to be truly hinting at that.
No more thinking or contemplating for a little while, it's Elizabeth's bed time. Okay, I got it. :]
<3 <3 <3
Goodnight and hopefully I'll write again soon.
Thinking about flying "elevates" my spirits. It's the only thing that really does, right now. So I will think about that before going to sleep tonight. I will continue to think about what it would be like to fly...how it would feel. And how it applies to all of my life, even metaphorically.
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