Open Heart

I'm not lonely, anymore. Not like I used to be. My friend is going through a really hard time right now and she showed me a song that is singing about letting the lonely in and dancing in an empty room by yourself. I remember this feeling, I really do. It's like a familiar memory. "I'm a ghost of girl, that I want to be most." God, I remember this. And I also remember feeling that it would never end. But I must really be healing because that song did make me feel pain but not piercing like it used to. It was compassionate, like I didn't want my friend to have to feel this. I wish her happiness. I wish you all happiness. That's my biggest wish. For you to smile with your heart and be fulfilled. For us all to know what it feels like to let go of the loneliness and open up the windows of our soul, letting the sunshine pour back in. I have to remember to keep my heart open and be willing to talk with others because it always helps me to heal. I wish healing for my friend. So much healing to take over her heart. I know there is a lot of loneliness inside of her that I wish I could wash away but I also know that she's got to do that part herself. No one else can. It has to be your decision to let it go and for me it wasn't easy. I still go back to it at times, my old ways and routines but I do feel that parts of me are becoming whole again. I don't feel like the ghost of a girl that I want to be. I feel like me and I'm happy with this me. I am working towards truly being happy with her though. I've got a long way to go but I am happy to be free of the loneliness. I don't feel alone, anymore. My heart is open to the love that is always being given to me. I pray that one day her's will as well.
-Eli