Walk With Me~

Here I am, finding me once again. A girl who is only interested in being herself and walking her path. I am so interested in the Indian way, Pagan way, Buddhist way, Course in Miracles way, New Age way and the Christian way but every time I try to say THIS is my path and part of me bucks wild and I don't see it for what it is anymore, I become depressed and almost feel hopeless. I once was told by my higher power, "This is your path so believe in your path. You don't need anyone else's. I see these ways as brothers and sisters of mine who give me helpful tips and help me along the way but they are not actually ME and if I try to become them then I forget my own truth's. When I see it this way, I feel great respect for the other views and I absolutely love taking from them. Each and every one of them mean a great deal to me and have been there with my throughout my entire life. I almost feel like they are friends of mine and have a lot to offer. I want to remember that this is why I am changing things for myself. I may have a higher power in my life now but I honestly believe I am to walk my path and not try to fit myself into one box or the other but continue to expand and grow, learn learn.
When people talk about 'evil' I always find them hard to take seriously. The word 'evil' is an excuse to me. It's not looking at something for what it is but trying to out cast it. Evil promote fear and guilt. Guilt promotes a prison and within this prison there is no room to grow and without growth a person becomes stagnant, a person's spirit dies. To believe in evil is a very unhealthy thing, in my opinion and it certainly is for me. I believe love is all about acceptance and who can accept someone who is evil? If they do then they have to be evil themselves right? Or just naive? It also makes an 'us and them' mentality AND if you believe that there are parts of you that are evil but not all of you then even then you are sometimes guilty. At times you cannot be accepted. If we are unconditionally loved, we are unconditionally accepted. Which means that instead of our faults being seen as 'evil' we would see them for what they are, whatever that may be. The area's we need growth or even the moments we were afraid.
I think that for me, love means to be free and to believe in the freedom of others, no matter what that may be. We've all got our own path, can we actually say we know what someone else's path SHOULD BE? I love it when people unfold as a person and begin to shine but I do know that for the longest time I was in my own funk and if I did believe in evil, I was kinda' part of all that. BUT, I was there. I remember what it was like to be Elizabeth back then. I didn't do it because I was intentionally trying to be evil, I did it because for me that's where I was at. It's what I felt, it's what I understood, it's what I believed in. And yes, I do take responsibility for that but I am not guilty for it. It was part of my growth and I would not be the person I am today without it. I also don't want to feel I have to be constantly sorry about some part of myself because it is just who I am and I don't feel guilty about it. That doesn't mean I don't believe in people getting what they dish out for themselves. If I act like a total bitch I'm pretty sure karma will give it right back to me. It's all about a balance of energy and I know that. But I want the freedom to be able to be myself without feeling if I mess up then I'll be thrown away like failed toy or experience. It's never failed. I don't believe in that and I guess even if higher beings were to tell me otherwise, I wouldn't still be able to believe in that. And I know how it is when you hear from something that is so obviously more advanced then you. But it's all about listening to your heart and realizing that YOUR truth is the only truth that really should matter to you. Doesn't matter what any other truth is. Your truth is there for a reason. My truth is freedom through love. I want to be Free, it's what it means to be me.

-E l i z a b e t h